Girl in a Whirl

My mom just handed this poem to me when I picked up my kids. Some of you may have read this before but I thought it was very funny so decided to share.

"The Girl In A Whirl"
by "Dr. Sues" (a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

"Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake,
I upholster,
I scrub, and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms!
I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice!
I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I play the piano!
I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle!
My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)
I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all!
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed!
My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children!
I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.
I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)
I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each "lost lamb" on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all!
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write "thank yous" to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.
I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires!
I fix the sink's leaks!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.
I make sure I rotate our two-year supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try!
Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!
It's easy!" she said
and then she dropped dead.

This was very funny to me. All of us do some of these things (some seem capable of doing more than others--that is not me.) However, most women really do think we need to be just like the woman in that poem (I am guilty as charged--three times over!) I want to remember to read this when I start bewailing my incompetence and ineffectiveness as a wife, mother and homemaker and start comparing myself to others to a degree that I begin to judge myself worthless. This adds the right touch of lightness to bring my spirits up and remind me that I cannot be all things and that there is a time and season to do things. Maybe it will help you too. Happy chuckling!